No matter how much research you do before your relocation, you’ll definitely encounter a number of culture shocks in the Netherlands during your time living here. 

I moved to the Netherlands in April 2021, and it’s been a journey ever since! Some things have pleasantly surprised me, while others have caught me unprepared. I’m sharing this with a few important caveats and a context to keep in mind throughout:

• I’m originally from Serbia and have lived there my whole life.
• I relocated with my husband (who’s also Serbian) and our dog. I brought my job with me when we relocated. I’ve been working remotely ever since, so I never worked at a proper Dutch office.
• I live in a town with a population of around 90.000. Most inhabitants call it “het dorp” (the village) because it is a small community in many ways.
• We’re both white, so we’ve not faced racism or similar forms of discrimination.
• I have in fact made a couple of Dutch friends during my time here! 

If you’d like a spoiler alert, here’s a list of my biggest culture shocks so far:

• 1. People are nice (mostly)
• 2. Curtains are not a thing
• 3. Everyone is in some kind of a club
• 4. Staff in public institutions won’t (usually) be mean to you
• 5. Kids are very independent
• 6. Waiting times are insanely long
• 7. Life doesn’t stop when it rains
• 8. Marzipan and almond paste
• 9. Work-life balance is truly balanced
• 10. You get one piece of cake

1. People are nice (mostly)

Coming from an Eastern European country, the first thing people will tell you is that you’ll have an awful time in Western Europe because people are cold and not friendly. My experience has been the opposite. In every neighborhood we’ve lived in so far – I knew the names of all of my neighbors, and they were mostly locals. We were invited over for coffee, and would always have pleasant small talk in passing.

Within the first two months of living in our first rental apartment, one of our neighbors came to the door to give us a doggy pool because they had an extra. Our dog doesn’t really get what all the hype around pools is about, but this gesture got me thinking that my assumptions about the Dutch might be wrong.

When we bought our apartment and started the remodel, each of the neighbors came over to say hi and ask if they could help. They were also happy to answer our endless questions about how the homeowners association works, and what we should be looking out for.

2. Curtains are not a thing

You will feel like a peeping Tom so often! Most Dutch homes have either no curtains or will have the curtains open while they’re sitting down and having family dinner. So if you go out for an evening walk, you’ll be able to admire the cozy living rooms everywhere.
I’ve heard quite a few stories about the source of the Dutch distaste for curtains, and I have no idea what the truth is! Some say windows were expensive, so if you had them on your home – you wanted to show them off instead of covering them up. Other versions of the story say it originates from the time when Dutch men were frequently on the sea and traveling for months or years. Their women at home would keep the curtains open at all times, to prove there is no shady business and they are faithfully waiting for their husbands to return.

If you ask a random Dutch person, I’m sure you’ll here a completely different story, and you can even turn this into a hobby – collecting myths about curtains.
That doesn’t mean you can’t buy curtains, though – they are available in quite a few stores! I’ve however found them a tad bit too expensive, and opted in for buying and bringing them from Serbia instead.

3. Everyone is in some kind of a club

No matter the age, everyone has some sort of an activity they participate in outside of work or school. Sports activities and clubs are the most obvious choice, but trust me when I say the Netherlands has a club for any hobby you can think of, no matter how strange it might be

People love coming together and spending time with others during book clubs, choir practices, knitting meet-ups, board game evenings… This means you’ll have lots of options for activities to join if you want to make local friends and start integrating in the community faster!

4. Staff in public institutions won’t (usually) be mean to you

This one is very niche. If you come from one of the Balkan countries, having to go to your municipality or the tax office is most likely a very stressful event, because you know you will probably be yelled at for missing one document or signing your name on the wrong line.

Even three years into living in the Netherlands, I still get very stressed and anxious before I’m supposed to go handle something in a public institution. And that’s despite having an extremely pleasant and calm experience in 99% of the cases.

When I got to my municipality registration appointment on arrival to the country, I hadn’t read the email they sent me carefully enough, so I showed up without my birth certificate. I hadn’t even brought one from Serbia at all. Cold sweat dripping down my spine, I approached the clerk who was handling my registration. When she realized I was missing this specific document, I was ready to be yelled at. Instead, she gave me an email address to send it to once I have it, scanned my other documents, and I received my social security number a few weeks later!

That’s not to say you won’t run into someone who might be unpleasant or not entirely knowledgeable.

5. Kids are very independent

Where I live, it’s not unusual to see kids under the age of five playing alone on the street or in the playground. The parents are somewhere there, or maybe watching from the window of their apartment.

It’s also not unusual to see a kid who can barely walk on a little learner’s bike. The parents will not help them cross the street or carry them over – they will often stand in the middle of the street stopping traffic until the kid finds its own way across. Of course, they wouldn’t do this in the busy town center, but in the quieter neighborhoods.

Kids are allowed to be kids and figure things out for themselves, even if that means a 1-year-old sitting on the floor of a cafe and practicing putting her shoes on and off while the parents are having a cup of coffee.

Kids will go to the store on their own, bike to school alone, and in general have a very independent lifestyle.

Many unexpected places are also kid-friendly! For example, you’ll see babies and toddlers in most museums. There will normally be scavenger hunt activities for kids older than 5, but even the little ones are brought with the family.

6. Waiting times are insanely long

It might be a consequence of 17.000.000 people living in such a small space, but you’ll have to wait quite a long time for most appointments. Not only with the municipality or the IND, but also with your doctor (unless it’s an emergency), hairdresser, psychologist…

Some of these things are not entirely essential – for example, we had to wait 2 months for the first available appointment with the dog groomer we’ve chosen. All other groomers in the area had a similar waiting time. In Serbia, we were used to being able to make an appointment a few days ahead of time.

Others can hinder your stay here – especially the ones that have to do with legal instances you need for your admin items or residency permits. So stay sharp and make these appointments on time.

For a hand with navigating the Dutch legal system, you can always reach us at info@movetonl.com!

7. Life doesn’t stop when it rains

I really thought I would succumb to seasonal depression, as do many expats who have to endure the moody and gray Dutch weather. However, three winters in, I can confidently say I don’t really mind it, and I even start missing the rain if it’s been dry for a few weeks

I think a major factor in that is the fact that rain doesn’t stop life! People will still go about their day as usual. Plans with friends won’t get canceled. Outdoor activities normally have an “in case of rain” backup plan (or just continue regardless)

It’s all about having the right rain- and wind-proof clothes and equipment.

8. Marzipan and almond paste

Okay, this is a really personal one!

90% of Dutch sweets will contain marzipan or almond paste in one shape or another. For someone who absolutely hates the taste of marzipan, this is hell. I cannot tell you how many times in the first few months I was excited to try something new, only to have to spit out the first bite.

As a rule of thumb – whenever something says it’s “gevuld” (filled), it is filled with marzipan or almond paste!

Obviously, if you’re a fan – this is good news for you. The rest of us will continue being careful about what we ingest.

9. Work-life balance is truly balanced

On one hand, I find this amazing – the working hours are normally strictly adhered to, and people don’t live to work. The employees are also quite well protected by the law, and the sick leave entitlement is extensive.

On the other hand, there’s also a bit of wisdom you need to acquire in order to work especially with smaller local companies. If you need something done – don’t call them on Mondays, they’re still recovering from the weekend. Wednesdays and Tuesdays are when things are getting done, so this is a good time to call and arrange things. On Thursdays, they’re already slowing down, and don’t even think about trying to make big requests on Fridays!

I made the mistake of calling our glass insurance company at 4pm on Friday, and was quite promptly told: “That is not my problem!” and hung up on after I described my situation. That was in fact true – it was not that company’s problem, but I suspect we would have had a longer conversation had I not called on a Friday afternoon.

Summers are also slow when it comes to work and business – Dutchies will take a few weeks of vacation at a time to go to their favorite destination and relax. So if you need to get things done – arrange it before July.

10. You get one piece of cake

This is a rough one for someone coming from a culture of sharing and making sure your guests are stuffed before they leave your house!

I didn’t want to believe it, but if you go to a Dutch birthday party, you will be offered one piece of cake. When food is counted per person, that is a shock for someone coming from a culture of always having an abundance of options on the table, and packing leftovers to-go!

In my first year, I baked a cake and wanted to share it with my neighbors. I brought a plate with four generous pieces to their door, and the neighbor looked at me in confusion. His first question was – how many can I take, just two, right? It was the two of them in the household, and he was shocked that I brought them more than two cakes!

Fortunately, no one was weirded out by my “generosity” so far, and some of them have even ended up reciprocating it.

And a bonus one as my personal pet peeve – it’s so important to know what time it is before you greet someone! The Dutchies will adhere to the timetable for the correct greeting, and you will be looked at scornfully if you get it wrong.
You’ll say “good morning” until noon.
“Good day” is from noon until 6pm, and then it’s “good evening”.